Top 3 Behaviors YOU Need to Know to Be The Best Bad Student You Can Be
it’s 3:08 pm, i have an hour left in this class and i have no idea if i will make it to the end. this is the only class where consistently, I never know what is going on. I’m lost from the time I walk in to the time I walk out. So, because this course can’t manage to keep my attention span for more than 5 minutes at a time. Here’s how to be a bad student 101.
1. Never look up from your laptop
You may think that you look really productive by staying on your laptop the whole time, but, trust, professors know when you’re dicking around on your laptop. No good notetaker never looks up from their screen. If you focus solely on your laptop the whole class period, it shows that you’re not interested in the lecture and are blatantly doing something else with the time allotted for the course. Like me for example.
Before I started typing this post, I was reading about bears and trying to figure out how to buy drugs off the dark web. I haven’t looked up or made eye contact with this dude once. Even now, as he is still lecturing, I would normally feel bad, but dude’s lectures make ZERO sense. I would go mad trying to spend 2 hours figuring out what the fuck he is talking about so instead, I distract myself. And you should too.
2. Never Answer Questions or Participate
When your lecturer…. hold on.. he’s showing us Youtube Reels right now. Anyways, when your lecturer makes little to no sense like mine does and proceeds to ask you questions about what he’s lecturing about OR questions about things he has never lectured about, simply do not respond, do not engage.
It’s like encountering a T-rex. Do not move a muscle, don’t show any signs of life. Because when you give a mouse a cookie… Yall know. If you entertain it once, it is bound to keep happening. I have witnessed with my own two eyes. The less we answer his questions, not only does it become more awkward because I’m in a class of 6 but he also asks fewer questions.
3. Don’t Silence Your Phone
There’s nothing more disrupting to a class than a phone consistently dinging and buzzing. Be that person. If you’re lucky enough, maybe you will be excused from class. I was almost tempted to deadass answer a phone call I just got. That would have been too over the top though. So I didn’t, but I have been texting on my laptop and every time my phone keeps buzzing which I can’t really be blamed for. Just makes me seem really popular ig.
I think he’s about to let us go early because we just finished the slides. It’s currently 3:31 PM. He’s, I think, asking us questions about today’s lecture to run up the time. Of course, as rule 2 states, I’m not participating. I want to go home. Not even go home, I just want to be anywhere else right now, even if that place was another classroom. At least it would be a classroom where the lecturer made fucking sense and was good at their JOBBB. I’ll give a time update whenever he releases us.. hopefully that time will come soon. I look too good to be stuck in the classroom right now (standing man emoji). it’s 3:48 and his laptop just died… but he’s still talking. 3:50, he said he’s ending class but he’s still talking. 3:52, we’re free.