The only time I would post on this blog is when it’s 4/20… and also Easter! How often does that happen?? No, like really, I can’t remember if this is a thing that typically happens or not. Nevermind, I just did the time math in my head. Well, there’s go my bit about that.
I went home to my grandmother’s for Easter. like to you know, show face to fam and stuff since I live too embarassingly close to not visit as much as I do. it was good seeing my family and such, they were all excited to see me, the church was excited to see me. excited is not how i would describe my feelings towards getting to see them, but i do love these people very much. i mean, like i’ve known them my whole life so… i guess that’s love? whatever idk lol. anyways, i went to church today and i’m really starting to think that religion isn’t for me. like organized religion, it feels… just off to me. ya’ll really think this “man” is the answer to everything? he is all the good in the world, right, and the devil is all the evil..? but if he made the devil, he could easily unmake him but yet, he just banished him to keep torturing the earthly realm, but had no issue wiping out every human on the planet except for a dude and his ark because “they were all sinners.”
i’m just confused by the logic. it feels like being in a building full of people who can’t read critically, and still base the entirety of their morals on this book. this book that they have never once questioned the historical background, reasoning, or ethics behind it. idk just feels culty. i’m referencing mostly the Bible Belt people with this thought, and hardcore anythings. i think that yes, you can stand by your religion and devote yourself to any faith you resonate most with, but it’s also ok to be critical and think for yourself. you cannot take everything that was said and written thousands of years ago and apply it to the modern world. that obviously doesn’t work because people in the U.S are seeing Trump try and succeed at doing this first hand….. using the bible. humans have always needed something to believe in, organized religion isn’t new. i just think that many people forget that religion is so personal, and it’s so easy for people to project their insecurities and fears into it, then sell it to other people. people are people.. it’s like trying to put law into nature, when nature doesn’t and has never followed rules.
that’s my spiel on church. my family has always been very religious, though, especially my grandmother. it has never seriously bothered me, at the end of the day, i dont care what people do as long as it’s chill, this was just my chronically online take on my feelings about religion as a whole. but, seeing my family, and a lot of them too, felt off for other reasons today. i was around a few of my cousins, some that i grew up with and others that i’m watching grow up, and it was a little jarring. i felt like the kid that got left behind inna way. i don’t know if every person in their 20’s has this feeling, but it feels like everyone is ahead of you in some way and you’re the last one to catch up. i know it’s not true, i’m in grad school and stuff, which is no show of maturity, but at least it’s what other adults are doing. eh, maybe i’m just going through fucking puberty, got pube brain. i wonder what they – the church and my family – will think when i’m done with puberty. it’ll be fun, maybe not. maybe they will speak the same way they do about my male cousins who have come back home with beards and gained significant bass to their voices, or maybe they will speak the same way they do about my uncle, who has bipolar. only time will tell, isn’t that so exciting?
– anyways, it’s boypuppy. it’s been nice chatting, and for the last time, i will say, i’m gonna start posting more i swear.
Leave a Reply